Why I dont like John Cena.

May 2024 ยท 5 minute read
Most overrated? I think Otto Wanz has that one.

I won't argue with your points, I'll just go the route of explaining why I, myself, hate John Cena.

Now, I use the term hate loosely. There was a time when I hated John with a passion, but that hatred has been subsided by several of his efforts, which I'll get into later.

In a nutshell; I hate John Cena because he never deserved the spots that he was given prior to his solidified status as the top guy of the WWE. At that point, it just made sense in regard to continuity that John would win certain matches.

John's first gimmick with UPW and OVW was that of the prototype, a guy who would act like a robot during his promos and say weird shit like "THERE IS A DISTURBANCE IN THE MATRIX!" Cena was a slow learner, but promoters and fans liked his look. John went to the WWE as a fresh face to help fluff up Smackdown's roster after the brand split, and he was a last minute replacement for The Undertaker when it came to Kurt Angle's open challenge.

Fine. John stepped up, and he put on a great match with Kurt Angle. I'm cool with that.

John went on a series of show-offy matches as "The Rookie" where he'd out-finesse so called veterans like *ugh* Bob Holly. Alright, whatever. They have to fill time, and they may as well use a worthless sack of dead weight like Bob Holly while he's on the payroll.

John's transition to being a doctor of thuganomics made as much sense as having an actual doctorate in thuganomics. John would freestyle rap (horribly, trust me) while traveling with other wrestlers and staff members. This was 2004-5, and the general public had very shallow standards of rap when a white rapper was still as rare as a fucking unicorn. John was on a bus with Stephanie McMahon, and she challenged John to cut a rap that focused on a can of tuna that she was holding. Apparently John rapped so well, that Stephanie insisted that they could market him as their version of Eminem.

So.... the gimmick that took John to the top happened because of a fucking can of tuna. No grueling journey to the top filled with dramatic highs and lows. The fans were so awestruck by this white dude that could rap, that they overlooked his paint by numbers wrestling style.

Now, John CAN wrestle. He has the instinct, he has the wisdom, he can read the crowd, he can respond accurately to cues from the refs or commentators, and he can call a match on the fly if need be. He's done all of this. But for some fucking reason, John's matches would devolve into the same tired formula.

John's formula:

John starts off as you'd expect him to depending on his opponent. If he's against Crash Holly, he beats him up. If he's against Brock Lesnar, he gets beat up but does so while fighting back occasionally.

Eventually, John mounts a mighty offense. John looks like he's ready to close the match.

Oh no! John falls prey to a mishap that's not his fault in any way (sort of). Now his opponent has him at a weakness, and takes full advantage.

John draws energy from the crowd, and he fights back. Slowly, but surely, John is back to his feet and he's bouncing off the ropes and... oh no! John got WHOMPED!

John's opponent attempts a pin, John kicks out. John's opponent gets smart and does some super devastating move, then attempts another pin that John kicks out of.

John's opponent gets frustrated, and can't focus on the match. John takes advantage! John hits the five moves of doom! AND! LOL CENA WINS!

Every. Fucking. Pay. Per. View.

Eventually John lost the belt to Edge, but he didn't lose his status as the top guy. This ticked me off. Someone else is the world champion, but John is getting the main events even if those main events don't involve the World Championship.

Sure enough, Edge drops the belt to Cena not soon after and we're back to square one. But wait! What's this!? John lost the belt to RVD! Oh sunny day! Oh shit. RVD lost the belt to Edge, who promptly lost the belt back to Cena. In the meantime, John was still the top guy.

Later on when John lost the belt to CM Punk, and CM Punk was arguably more popular than John Cena at the time, John was still the top guy getting the top matches.

Say what you want about how good John was, it's bullshit to drop the belt and not elevate the new champion.

As time went on, John was just the man. He proved that the WWE's faith was never squandered on him, even if at times it seemed a little misguided. He stayed with them, made a SHIT TON of money for them, and to this day he's one of the few positive aspects of the WWE.

I think that Edge was the person mentioned above who would have been worthy of John's prestige, but as we all know fate dealt Edge a dirty hand. In light of that, I really don't think that John ever held anyone down. I think that John was protective of his spot, but I don't think that he ever pulled a Shawn Michaels and had deserving talent buried. John's opponents that couldn't hack it, proved that they couldn't hack it due to reasons that had nothing to do with John.

John has had phenomenal matches, long after his run as the top guy ran its course. He and AJ put on absolute clinics.

So, yeah, I hate John Cena and I don't think that he deserved what he was given. But... he's a good person, a good wrestler, and the WWE is better for having had him work for them.

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